Every moment we're awake we're communicating messages to everyone around us. The question is not if we do it, but rather how. The question is if we are communicating well, or poorly. The question is what messages we are sending and if they correctly represent what's going on.
Communication isn't only talking. Talking doesn't necessarily mean you communicated something well. Just because you told me something, doesn't mean that when you walked away I understood what you said. If I look at you and tell you I love you, but my tone conveys anger, and my eyes hatred, which message will you believe? Often, the messages we send non-verbally are the ones that are true rather than the words we say. After all, how many times when you were little did you lie about not eating the cookies, but those dang-gone crumbs on your face, fear in your eyes, and a burp gave you away?
The importance of good communication has really been on my heart. The importance of adding a few extra words in a text message so that it doesn't come off as if I'm being short with a person has hit me. The value of stopping what I'm doing and looking someone in their eyes and standing up to greet them has hit me. When our actions mirror the words we are saying "It's so good to see you!" suddenly it is believable and not just the generic thing to say at a high school reunion 15 years later.
The problem with good communication is that it takes that thing that most people say they don't have enough of: time. But, I'm here to say that we truly have been given enough hours each day to do everything that we are expected to do. Perhaps, we need to invest more time in fewer things and do those well, such as communication.
It takes time to stop, to ask clarifying questions when we didn't hear or didn't understand. It's easy to just smile and nod while the speaker seems to ramble and we are wondering what in the world they're trying to say. But, it's just as much the listener's responsibility to bravely ask questions until they understand as it is the speakers job to clarify. Perhaps, poor communication shows that we don't value the other person? Or that we don't value our own words and understand the importance? Perhaps, it shows we don't know how to slow down. The irony is that poor communication creates more work in the long run, which takes up more time. It creates sticky situations, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings which take at least twice as long to work through compared to if we had taken the time to properly communicate what we were trying to say all along.
I detest generic. I very much dislike fake. For those around me, I'm working on being better able to communicate with you. My family talks a lot...but we don't necessarily communicate well. So, bear with me as I learn how to listen, pause, and respond rather than react. Take the time today to stop, clarify, and make sure you're communicating the correct messages.
Communication isn't only talking. Talking doesn't necessarily mean you communicated something well. Just because you told me something, doesn't mean that when you walked away I understood what you said. If I look at you and tell you I love you, but my tone conveys anger, and my eyes hatred, which message will you believe? Often, the messages we send non-verbally are the ones that are true rather than the words we say. After all, how many times when you were little did you lie about not eating the cookies, but those dang-gone crumbs on your face, fear in your eyes, and a burp gave you away?
The importance of good communication has really been on my heart. The importance of adding a few extra words in a text message so that it doesn't come off as if I'm being short with a person has hit me. The value of stopping what I'm doing and looking someone in their eyes and standing up to greet them has hit me. When our actions mirror the words we are saying "It's so good to see you!" suddenly it is believable and not just the generic thing to say at a high school reunion 15 years later.
The problem with good communication is that it takes that thing that most people say they don't have enough of: time. But, I'm here to say that we truly have been given enough hours each day to do everything that we are expected to do. Perhaps, we need to invest more time in fewer things and do those well, such as communication.
It takes time to stop, to ask clarifying questions when we didn't hear or didn't understand. It's easy to just smile and nod while the speaker seems to ramble and we are wondering what in the world they're trying to say. But, it's just as much the listener's responsibility to bravely ask questions until they understand as it is the speakers job to clarify. Perhaps, poor communication shows that we don't value the other person? Or that we don't value our own words and understand the importance? Perhaps, it shows we don't know how to slow down. The irony is that poor communication creates more work in the long run, which takes up more time. It creates sticky situations, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings which take at least twice as long to work through compared to if we had taken the time to properly communicate what we were trying to say all along.
I detest generic. I very much dislike fake. For those around me, I'm working on being better able to communicate with you. My family talks a lot...but we don't necessarily communicate well. So, bear with me as I learn how to listen, pause, and respond rather than react. Take the time today to stop, clarify, and make sure you're communicating the correct messages.
No comments:
Post a Comment