Idealizing dehumanizes

Have you ever had someone introduce themselves to you because they had heard about what you do before they ever heard who you were?  Have you had someone come up to you and say they can't believe they finally get to meet you, they think you're incredible and doing so much good, and they've heard all about what you do?  (for the record, this isn't necessarily my own experience, but my observation or spying on others)

I usually watch as the person receiving this compliment begins to look a little stressed out at how awesome the other person thinks they are because of what they do.  I mean, talk about pressure to be as awesome as that person perceives you to be.

To be completely honest,  (which I shall be because that was my new years resolution), sometimes amazing people intimidate me.  Ridiculous, right?  I agree.  That's why I'm processing this via a blog entry.

 I've thought about this for many hours this week on train rides to and from Chicago.  And 5 minutes ago I finally had the epiphany moment where I realized that I'm not necessarily intimidated by the person, but the person I project upon them to be.  I become intimidated by the amazing life they appear to lead.  I realized that if we only characterize and categorize people by what they do(even if it is good that they do) then at some point we take away their humanity  if we don't see who they are at the same time.  If we never see them spill their coffee(or milk), stain their new white shirt with spaghetti sauce, stub their toe, cry, laugh, joke, we separate the person from their very humanity.  Which means, we aren't even seeing the other individual as a human anymore but as this idealistic persona of a hero that we have projected upon them.

I had plenty of chances to work through this thought process and emotions I experienced this past week.  I went to a conference called Ideation and bumped into person after person who was pursuing justice, social good, and fighting to empower others.  It was an incredibly beautiful experience.  The most beautiful part?  Not what these people were doing but simply who they are created to be.  

The theme of the conference was "Be Human."  In a world where social networking online builds more of our relationships than face to face interaction, we are hungry for opportunities to be human.  We are hungry not to work in an assembly line, not to live in a keep up with the Jones' mentality, but to BE human.  As I looked around me and listened to amazing stories of providing water, shoes, food, etc. for people who don't have those things readily available I thought about this.  I thought about how as important as it is to do good and to live a life of giving away, it is just as important to BE as it is to do.  And, on top of that, I might just say that if you're doing all of the good in the world but your heart is empty and character lacking, then that is absolutely tragic.

So, thank you to people of substance I had the privilege of eating and talking with this week.  Please know that although I respect you for the ventures you lead and the people you are caring for in your non-profits, I don't define you by what you do.  You are defined by who you are when no one is looking, and that is a tremendous, freeing truth.  Don't idealize other people too much, you'll just stress them out!