Dear Abby

I have a brilliant idea.  (nope, not arrogant...I've been learning there is a difference between confidence and arrogance).  My idea is that the next time you find yourself freaking out about what to do with your life and what in the world you should do with this or that situation....you know, your spilled coffee, or the person who won't ever stop talking to you, or the ex that you know you shouldn't talk to....that you take your own advice.

I realized today that I can give pretty good advice.  Somehow though, every ounce of that wisdom flies out the window as soon as I fly off the handle.  I don't want to admit that I know exactly what I should do, because it's hard.  It doesn't always feel good, so I go asking other people for advice in the hopes that they will give me an easier alternative, something that tickles my ears.  But,  deep down, in sticky situations, I know exactly what I need to do, if I just step back and pretend it's my friend coming to me, I know exactly what I would tell her to do.  

My bet is that I'm not alone in this and that you might have some wisdom to share with yourself as well.  I'd like to point out, that if we all can take some deep breaths, go for a walk, and think about what you would tell a friend, you might have some pretty great advice for yourself.  What do you think?

My disclaimer:  this wisdom works much better if it comes from a place of love for others, a commitment to doing what is best and honorable in the sight of Jesus.

Oh...and I love this song.

Amnesia Prone

Three weeks ago I was in a hay bailing race. Yep.  For the record, this was as amusing to watch as it sounds.  We had to race down a field pushing this hay thing that's bigger than all of us, spin it around a pole and race back.  With every step I became convinced that the field was truly growing longer and longer and more sure I really needed to begin lifting weights.   I had NO idea those things were so heavy.  With hay flying in my eyes and hay scratching my arms, I came away with some battle wounds.  (and last place) The worst of all were these nasty splinters, at least 15 in each hand, some so small that I couldn't get out.  Over the next two weeks they were a constant reminder of my race and a constant annoyance as they hurt, looked infected, and seemed to be incredibly slow at healing.

Every day I had those splinters, I was hoping they would heal, and desperate that they would.  They looked really gross.  Today, I suddenly looked down at my hands and realized I hadn't thought about them in over a week.  To my surprise, all my wounds were gone and I hadn't even realized it!  There was not even one mark to remind me that hay bailing was a true story.  As soon as the pain was gone I went back to life as normal, I had never even stopped to be grateful for the healing my hands had received.

I know that story can sound super dramatic, but I never realized how much when your hands are blistered and splintered it can affect little tasks and be this thorn in your side.  It made me think about how amnesia prone I am.  We all get wounds, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.  Some heal so that we don't even remember we ever had them, others become scars that are a constant reminder of a battle we survived.   To me, the wounds on my hand and my lack of realizing they had even been healed contrasted with my desperation for them to get better is a perfect example of my spiritual life.

When I have wounds that need healed and things are tough, I'm desperately on my knees begging for healing, but then when things get easy, and my wounds aren't so fresh, I instantly forget that He answered me!  Yet the things we have scars about....we don't let ourselves forget those.  I don't even remember what used to hurt once it's been healed.  I have healing amnesia.  I don't want to have amnesia any longer.  Amnesia causes me to miss out on some awesome opportunities to give glory to our God.  Thank you God, for having mercy even when I have amnesia of your goodness.  What about you?  Do you suffer from amnesia? Hopefully, you're amnesia immune.

Communication

Every moment we're awake we're communicating messages to everyone around us.  The question is not if we do it, but rather how.  The question is if we are communicating well, or poorly.  The question is what messages we are sending and if they correctly represent what's going on.

Communication isn't only talking.  Talking doesn't necessarily mean you communicated something well.  Just because you told me something, doesn't mean that when you walked away I understood what you said.  If I look at you and tell you I love you, but my tone conveys anger, and my eyes hatred, which message will you believe?  Often, the messages we send non-verbally are the ones that are true rather than the words we say.  After all, how many times when you were little did you lie about not eating the cookies, but those dang-gone crumbs on your face, fear in your eyes, and a burp gave you away?

The importance of good communication has really been on my heart.  The importance of adding a few extra words in a text message so that it doesn't come off as if I'm being short with a person has hit me.  The value of stopping what I'm doing and looking someone in their eyes and standing up to greet them has hit me.  When our actions mirror the words we are saying "It's so good to see you!"  suddenly it is believable and not just the generic thing to say at a high school reunion 15 years later.

The problem with good communication is that it takes that thing that most people say they don't have enough of: time.  But, I'm here to say that we truly have been given enough hours each day to do everything that we are expected to do.  Perhaps, we need to invest more time in fewer things and do those well, such as communication.

It takes time to stop, to ask clarifying questions when we didn't hear or didn't understand.  It's easy to just smile and nod while the speaker seems to ramble and we are wondering what in the world they're trying to say.  But, it's just as much the listener's responsibility to bravely ask questions until they understand as it is the speakers job to clarify.  Perhaps, poor communication shows that we don't value the other person?  Or that we don't value our own words and understand the importance?  Perhaps, it shows we don't know how to slow down.  The irony is that poor communication creates more work in the long run, which takes up more time.  It creates sticky situations, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings which take at least twice as long to work through compared to if we had taken the time to properly communicate what we were trying to say all along.

I detest generic.  I very much dislike fake.  For those around me, I'm working on being better able to communicate with you.  My family talks a lot...but we don't necessarily communicate well.  So, bear with me as I learn how to listen, pause, and respond rather than react.  Take the time today to stop, clarify, and make sure you're communicating the correct messages.

Age

If someone had told me when I was six, that mommy and daddy didn't really know what they were doing and were still learning as they went, I would have shaken my head in disbelief.  It's so true though!

When I was a little kiddo I thought that adults all knew what they were doing, had their act together and were confident.  This, however, as you probably already know (you're smart) is incredibly far from reality.

As I've stepped into adulthood my eyes have been opened over and over again to how fourty year olds, sixty year olds, and every other age sometimes are figuring things out just as much as I am.  I'm not in any way discounting the wisdom that can come with age.  However, I've met plenty of people twice my age who have somehow missed the lessons to be learned and instead have chosen foolishness.

So, what's my point?  I'm not quite sure.  Well, that's not quite true.  I suppose my point is to not be intimidated by anyone older or younger than you because the truth is, that age doesn't necessarily determine someone's stability, wisdom, or confidence.  Some of the most insecure people I have met have been 60 year old men who decided to not learn the lessons they could have along their life journey.  So, have grace.  Don't accept someone's word as gold simply because they're older, don't underestimate yourself because of your age, and take every opportunity you have to learn a lesson and gain wisdom.

Idealizing dehumanizes

Have you ever had someone introduce themselves to you because they had heard about what you do before they ever heard who you were?  Have you had someone come up to you and say they can't believe they finally get to meet you, they think you're incredible and doing so much good, and they've heard all about what you do?  (for the record, this isn't necessarily my own experience, but my observation or spying on others)

I usually watch as the person receiving this compliment begins to look a little stressed out at how awesome the other person thinks they are because of what they do.  I mean, talk about pressure to be as awesome as that person perceives you to be.

To be completely honest,  (which I shall be because that was my new years resolution), sometimes amazing people intimidate me.  Ridiculous, right?  I agree.  That's why I'm processing this via a blog entry.

 I've thought about this for many hours this week on train rides to and from Chicago.  And 5 minutes ago I finally had the epiphany moment where I realized that I'm not necessarily intimidated by the person, but the person I project upon them to be.  I become intimidated by the amazing life they appear to lead.  I realized that if we only characterize and categorize people by what they do(even if it is good that they do) then at some point we take away their humanity  if we don't see who they are at the same time.  If we never see them spill their coffee(or milk), stain their new white shirt with spaghetti sauce, stub their toe, cry, laugh, joke, we separate the person from their very humanity.  Which means, we aren't even seeing the other individual as a human anymore but as this idealistic persona of a hero that we have projected upon them.

I had plenty of chances to work through this thought process and emotions I experienced this past week.  I went to a conference called Ideation and bumped into person after person who was pursuing justice, social good, and fighting to empower others.  It was an incredibly beautiful experience.  The most beautiful part?  Not what these people were doing but simply who they are created to be.  

The theme of the conference was "Be Human."  In a world where social networking online builds more of our relationships than face to face interaction, we are hungry for opportunities to be human.  We are hungry not to work in an assembly line, not to live in a keep up with the Jones' mentality, but to BE human.  As I looked around me and listened to amazing stories of providing water, shoes, food, etc. for people who don't have those things readily available I thought about this.  I thought about how as important as it is to do good and to live a life of giving away, it is just as important to BE as it is to do.  And, on top of that, I might just say that if you're doing all of the good in the world but your heart is empty and character lacking, then that is absolutely tragic.

So, thank you to people of substance I had the privilege of eating and talking with this week.  Please know that although I respect you for the ventures you lead and the people you are caring for in your non-profits, I don't define you by what you do.  You are defined by who you are when no one is looking, and that is a tremendous, freeing truth.  Don't idealize other people too much, you'll just stress them out!

Overload

Ideas. Ideas. Ideas.  Ideas. Ideas. Ideas. Ideas. Ideas.
What if...maybe if...what would happen if...

Anyone's mind hurting yet?  Mine is. Social entrepreneurs are amazing.  (for those of you who wonder what that means, it means an entrepreneur who is pursuing a dream for the good of other people, and including justice in that adventure).  I sit with my mind swirling as I listen and read what these people are doing.

The fact that someone has a dream or a crazy idea, and then actually DID it amazes me.   These people weren't all geniuses by nature.  They just took one step forward at a time because they believed they needed to.  They broke the big idea down into manageable bites.  They didn't know how to do what they needed to, but they asked, weren't scared of failing, took some risks, and somehow ended up where they are now.

 I've been around a lot of talk about ideas the past week.  So much that my head is saying PLEASE stop thinking!!!!!  But, I have to process this a little bit first (and then I'll listen to my fried mind). I've had some good ideas in my life time.  As have you.  The question is what happened to them?  Did you follow through with it or did you push it away to the point you don't remember the good idea you ever had to begin with?  What is it that causes some ideas to survive and fight through and others to die before they were even given a chance.  Is it the idea itself, an insecure person, or a mix of soooo many factors?

So, some questions
1) What would make an idea worth pursuing for you?
2) Why haven't you pursued the ideas or dreams you've had?  Does it have to do with fear or insecurity?
3) How can we help each other by making a safe place to bounce crazy ideas around?

I can think of couple of ideas that I've had that were really awesome and now years later I think they maybe might work....But how do you know when it's something to truly pursue?! Does it have to burn in your heart like crazy until you can't help but pursue it or is it more of a practical, decision?  Pray for confidence and direction to overwhelm the insecurities and uncertainties that try to hold both you and me back.

love debt

I think this says it all.

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another,  for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law.  The commandments "Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not covet, " and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."    Love does no harm to its neighbor.  Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.
     And do this(love each other like you have a debt to love them)  understanding the present time.  The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed(wow)  The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.  So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.  Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealous.  Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus christ and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

This passage wrecked me this morning and last night.  It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.  I know I've read it many times before....but the parts in italics hit me like never before and I couldn't help but scream it from the rooftops (or type frantically into the blog).  The idea that I have a continuing debt to love you as my brother or sister, put love into an entirely new category.  I'm so excited to love like that.   The reminder that we need to wake up from our sleep...that the night is nearly over, the day is almost here, reminds me how sad it would be if I kept sleeping and missed what God is doing on this earth.  Here's a video I thought went perfectly.

Fire Burn

Without meaning to sound sadistic, there is something absolutely beautiful when you are in the fire, knowing you're going through hard times, and can see yourself being refined in the process.  When you can look at the issues and know that they don't have a hold on you.  There is something freeing knowing that pain has not destroyed you but made you stronger.  There is incredible peace that comes when you  look at the bitterness you could have chosen and instead see the forgiveness that you gave.

So, fire burn, do your thing.  You can only take what is temporary.  The best still remains.  You're just one more tool in the potter's hand.  I see people running away, terrified of the pain, of being burned away.   But I'm not going anywhere, I'm here to stay.  Fire, burn, do your thing.  I'm not afraid of the ashes, I'm not afraid of the smoke.  I'm willing to push it away to see the new growth.

As the fire burns in your life, you can choose to try to run...or you can stand your ground, see the beauty for ashes that Christ promises us...and say fire, do your thing.  

Slow fade

You know that game "Have you ever?"  No?  Shoot...well, you're about to get a little taste of it right now.  Ready?
I was hoping you'd say that!  Here we go...
Have you ever had a REALLY awesome idea?  (me too!)
Have you ever gotten super excited about the next adventure? (me too!!!)
(later I can explain the directions....)

Did you ever feel that excitement and energy and passion that you had felt so strongly yesterday slowly(or quickly) begin to fade away as you realized the every day work and every day not so glamorous tasks and action that it would take to get you there?  Did you feel it fade as you realized it wouldn't be an instantaneous achievement?  I've felt that a lot lately.

The reality is that almost everyone in their life has had at least a few amazing ideas that could really have changed things around them.  Most people brush them off assuming they can't do anything with those ideas, and the reason those ideas never come into fruition much of the time isn't because they were tried and failed, it was because they were never tried.  Fear steals so much of what could be beautiful in our life.  Let's stop letting fear and apathy have a monopoly on the market.

I'm currently surrounded by people who have dreams and ideas (like most people).  The difference is that they've been challenging me to actually do the everyday tasks to get us from simply good ideas and dreams to actually living out those dreams.  It's sure not easy, having to think through a big idea and break it down into the little steps it will take to bringing it into reality.  I guess the beauty of the whole thing is in that.

Work is beautiful.  Being faithful in the small things is beautiful.  We are called to work and give it our all.  I want to be that person that looks back one day when I'm sitting in a porch swing and remembers the ideas I had with a knowing smile rather than a far away what if look in my eyes.

So, what are some dreams on your heart?  Any?  (If you don't know, don't feel bad...you don't HAVE to have one to be cool or for me or God to love you).  If you know the slow fade away feeling I was talking about...do you have any ideas how we can encourage each other in a way that we don't give up before we even try?

Everyday Lovin

Hello my friends.

I've been MIA for a few weeks.  Life's been tough and I couldn't seem to find any words worth sharing. When I deal with hard things...I tend to hide so that I don't bring that hurt on anyone else.  I've been realizing...that's a really bad idea.  Because, if in my faking that I'm ok... I'm encouraging you to fake that you're ok and we're both hanging out, both miserable, but pretending we're ok...feeling more miserable as we keep up the masquerade.  And, well...that's just stupid.  This morning I woke up at 4 am looking in the face the tough situations I've been finding myself in and prayer didn't seem to be shaking off the pain that I felt in my heart.  I cried out over and over for comfort...didn't get it...I begged for sleep...didn't get it.  So, I gave up on sleep and grabbed my Bible and desperately read needing truth to pierce my heart.  This post is me moving forward rather than getting lost in my pain and wallowing.

I've been so shocked lately.  Every day it becomes more and more of a reality that faith is painful physically.  That hope doesn't come naturally.  That being faithful is more of a battle than any war.  My family has been through a lot of shit lately and so has my heart.  It hasn't been pretty.  I've questioned what true obedience looks like and what true love is.  I've been confronted with the dilemma and pain that happen when you love someone and that love isn't returned...what does it look like to continue to love that person in pure, holy love?  Wow, it's hard.

Reading my Bible this morning in the wee hours I realized how absolutely unnatural the commands and advice that Jesus gave us are.  The absolutely absurdity of loving someone who hates you.  The obnoxious vulnerability of not retracting your love from someone out of spite when they turn their back on you...it's absolutely impossible.  But, yet...it's the only thing that makes sense.  It's the only action that is worth it.  It's the only option that doesn't leave us feeling like a cheater...I'm tired of cheating...I don't know about you.  It's in those situations that we have a chance to rise above the physical and truly live like we believe there is a spiritual and that it matters and dictates our physical.

Somehow....in our pain...through the rough crap...that's where we get refined, that's where we learn character.  I found myself rather annoyed with that truth today...that suffering and pain is a tool used to bring us closer to God.  I tried to convince him over the past weeks that I could learn just as much if my life were easy, if my heart wasn't bleeding...He just listened as His quiet peace eventually reminded me that He knows best.   I don't want to misguide you and tell you that peace comes instantly and I feel all warm inside and know that everything will be ok.  Sometimes I have to wait hours, sometimes I don't feel much relief from my raw heart...but eventually, it comes.  I think sometimes we put our instantaneous gratification culture on God...but God doesn't work like that.  Sometimes, being in the darkness for a bit shapes us into appreciating and seeing light better...

"Experienced mountaineers have a quiet, regular, short step- on the level it looks petty; but then this step they keep up, on and on as they ascend, whilst the inexperienced townsman hurries along, and soon has to stop, dead beat with the climb...Such an expert mountaineer, when the thick mists come, halts and camps out under some slight cover brough with him, quietly smoking his pipe, and moving on only when the mist has cleared away...You want to grow in virture, to serve God, to love Christ?  Well, you will grow in and attain to these things if you will make them a slow and sure, an utterly real, a mountain stepplod and ascent, willing to have to camp for weeks or months in spiritual desloation, darkness and emptiness at diferent stages in your march and growth.  All demand for constant light, for ever the best--the best to your own feeling, all attempt at eliminating or minimizing the cross and trial, is so much soft folly and puerile trifling."  -Baron Friedrich von Hugel

I don't want to be so scared of hurting, that I minimize the trial...and lose the lesson to be learned.  I found myself struggling with the beatitudes in Matt. 5.  "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth"  (I like the message version which says "You are blessed when you are at the end of your rope, for that is when God has room to work".   I don't get why God works like this...it just seems like He does.  I don't get how my broken heart isn't something to be feared...but something that as I work through is a blessing...it sure doesn't feel like that!  I found myself truly struggling with these verses today...struggling with what it means to be faithful and trusting, while also not fake that everything in my life is just peachy and I couldn't be happier.

Lots of people don't want to be around someone when they're sad, hurting, depressed.  So, we fake it and say we're "ok" when we're not, because we don't know what the other person would do if they knew what was going on inside of us anyways.  This week, I've been reminded of what it looks like to have a true friend, who even when I'm crying, calls me up and takes me somewhere just to sit with me and to be with me.  That sounds small, but it has changed my life.  I want to be the person that people don't have to fake it around.  If we were honest....what a beautiful dimension that would add to our relationships instead of trying to fake that we're happy or joyful.  I have joy, deep down, and I have hope, but some days...are tough days...some months feel a bit like purgatory....and it's in those moments I need to not be alone.  And, the freeing part is....when I'm not all smiley...that doesn't mean I love Jesus any less in that moment.  It doesn't mean I've lost my way.

 I need someone who is my friend when I'm not very much fun.  Someone who exemplifies the true love that proves to me that they've got Jesus.   We can be in a room full of people who claim to have the joy of the Lord, are hyped up on Jesus...and get lost.  We can be lost by being the person who just doesn't feel that way and is going through hard shit...or we can be the person who gets lost by not noticing those who feel on the fringes and need some practical, real, everyday love...a hug, a tough conversation.

To my friend who will never read this...but has changed my life...thank you for not missing the boat.

I see Jesus

I found myself today walking down an old country road, unafraid of how I looked, tapping and stomping my feet to a beat I heard in my head, singing out to Yahweh.  While I was at enjoying my freedom and peace, I found myself for a moment realizing that I was perhaps disturbing the peace of the drivers going past me as they wondered what home I had wandered away from :)  Then I smiled and felt lovely.  May I suggest...that you go find your old country road to take a walk down today, find your warmth of sunshine, and find your song to Yahweh and hold nothing back.

So, without further ado...go find your old country road...or your old green chair where you can sit with your Papa :)  and do it.  Do it with Him.  Seek Him with all of your heart.

Help! I got lost in a proverb.

About a week ago, I wrote an entry called "Explicit Truth."  Since then, I have been mulling over the words of Jesus and the way that he spoke.  I find it stopping me a bit in my tracks, that He, at times was explicit, but most times implicit.  Why?  Because the Truth can hold His own.

Have we lost the art of speaking in parables?  Of sharing truth with others through the art of a creative narrative with a beautiful treasure of truth hidden inside?  Do we fear that people aren't hungry enough that if they have to work to understand something they won't?  Are we convinced that people have lots their curiosity and we aren't truly representing Christ if we don't make everything on the road towards him incredibly simple to understand?  I'm afraid I've been guilty of this.

The idea of implicit truth is difficult for me to wrap my mind around at first.  It almost feels like we're not being true to other people and not being fair to them to make them dig a little to find and uncover the actual truth.  But, aren't those the only people who will receive it anyways?  What does it look like for us to not "toss our pearls to swine"  but to take after Jesus and enjoy the narrative and struggle through both parables and proverbs?

The Bible is filled with hidden treasures waiting to be dusted off and discovered and explored.  They are there for hungry people to find.  There is heart cutting truth and life giving lessons carefully compacted and crafted into two line proverbs.   The meaning of life is revealed in a ten line parables.  That's amazing.  STOP.  Re-read that for a second.  It's truly amazing. It requires struggle, revelation, and hunger to discover what lies in the stories Jesus spoke.  What a beautiful thing.  Perhaps, us westerners could learn a few lessons from those in the east who seem to understand and respect the sage and the guru.  The sage and guru don't shy away from proverbs and parables, scared their followers won't get it.  They know that they must struggle through it.  I can't remember the last time that I heard a pastor give a riddle, proverb, or parable to his people without immediately spelling it out for them.

Since God kinda created us...He knows the way we work.  He knows that our minds best understand and remember stories, not long lists of unconnected facts and bullet points.  Yet so often...we get 5 point messages in church.  Sometimes great lists of points,(sometimes not) other times pretty watered down and just deep enough to satisfy those who want to feel holy and spiritual(doesn't require much...just a few big words and flowery sentences) and not deep enough to cause any response in  those who are truly hungry or want to be challenged.

Maybe...we should learn the art of a parable.  Maybe we should learn the art of speaking to the heart of the questioner rather than chickening out and responding straight to their question.  Have you ever noticed how rarely Jesus answered people's questions?  He addressed the issue behind the question.  With heart cutting accuracy He pinpoints the issue and silences people with one sentence as they are left to face themselves.  That, is incredible.  I believe we can do this, too.  We've just decided we can't.

Perhaps, if we stop spoon feeding people the bits of truth that we think that they can handle, and stop trying to gradually emerge them in truth, stop trying to shove truth in their face...maybe if we set up a stage where they hear truth and depth hinted at through the way that we speak and live...they will remember their appetite and hunger for truth and grow hungrier and more determined as the dig and dig to uncover it and come face to face with the only Truth.

I'm from the States...as are some of you.  So, I can say that we pretty much suck as a whole at implicit truth.  Too many want the easy way, so the pastors go along with that, the worship leaders go along with that, and the people go along with that.  They go along with it to the point that Jesus...really wouldn't fit in so well with the people that are his name-sake.  Perhaps, we should get ourselves firm in truth, and confident in it.  It's like...so many don't actually believe it is the truth so they're scared to give it to the people in a way that they have to work for it because they're afraid it's not worth it.  My friend, if it's not worth it to you...then please, stop your masquerade and leading people into a cult-like lifestyle parading under the name christian.

When we water things down...we lose the people who are truly radical and want a challenge.  Have you noticed the people on the outskirts of society?  The ones that talk, dress, walk differently?   (you know...the ones that are still thinking and aren't satisfied with the answers they've been given?) They stand out in a strange way...almost like the prophets did in the Old Testament...weird huh?  Those amazing people who are hardcore...just need to experience the presence of God...but they're so put off by christians that we have actually become a detour on their way home to their Father.  How can we do that to the fatherless generation?  I don't want to come between anyone and their Dad.

So, without further ado, teach us what it looks like to be brilliant in parables and implicit truth.  Teach us when to be explicit and when to be implicit.  May you be glorified in it all.  Take us away from our flowery, watered down, feel good, spoon fed truth(so disguised the truth is barely recognizable), and lead us into a place where we speak truth.

Superstar me?

I heard it said (where I don't remember) that the biggest problem with our generation is that we who follow Jesus all want to be superstars.  We all struggle with wanting to be the important leader, musician, the one that everyone has heard of.  Is that true?  When I first heard that statement I had to chew on it for a bit.

Well, I've pretty much chewed it to a pulp and I think it's a pretty accurate statement.  What does it look like for someone to live a life that is marked by faithfulness, perseverance, no compromise, and love?  Perhaps you've met some of those people.  I have.  Usually they're about 10-30 years older than me, and very few of them have had world-wide recognition for what they've done, many of them haven't even been known across their own country.  But, their lives have left a bigger mark in the kingdom of God than huge movements of people have done.  Their commitment to the people on their street, in their neighborhood, and town has changed lives forever.

I'm not striving to be insignificant.  Here me out on this.  But, I am recognizing that when I live an incredibly significant life, it is absolutely possible to never be seen as "important" or to be the face on the next New York Times bestseller.  My friends, are we ok with this?  Are you ok not being the most important person in your church, the person with the most swag, the go to for everything?  Are you willing to truly give it all...perhaps that means you'll become the person everyone across the country knows about...(it happens) but the reality is that the church and the kingdom of God and this world need way more people living quiet, faithful, committed lives than we need superstars.  When was the last time a superstar changed your life?

So, without further ado...let's try to shake this superstar mentality and show those who have gone before us that we do have a firm foundation and are content being obedient, humble, and righteous.

How do we see

What happens if each time we look at another person we treat them as if they already were who they were made to be?  What happens if each time we look someone at someone, we look them in the eyes, not to find what needs fixed but to hear their story?  What if we listen to hear who they are and see what they need and show them love instead of trying to dig up what they're doing wrong?

I think that most of us would admit we have flaws (or...at least I do!)...and in the church we talk a lot about grace.  But, I'm not sure we truly grasp it.  Grace looks like us recognizing we're not perfect and because of grace, we know that no longer does that keep us from God.  Grace doesn't look like us have a ticket to the anything-I-wanna-do-anytime-I-wanna 24hr buffet.  Most people who have been in church have also heard that.  But, how much have we heard about embracing each other and strangers on the street like they already have been covered in grace?

I find myself easily slipping into evaluating everything and everyone if I'm not careful.   When I do, it stresses me out.  Why?  Because...although we're meant to be discerning and confront each other when there are issues, we weren't made to constantly be trying to only find what's wrong with the person in front of us.  Yet, so often we live like this.

What if....our elders looked at us like we had already been covered in grace and saw us as who we were meant to be?  What if instead of the older generation always talking about what is wrong with the younger generation, they talked about what's right about them and the plans God has for them?  What if we as the younger generation embraced the generations before us in the same way?  hmm....just some food for thought.

Do you remember a time when you messed up terribly and you were greeted with love, and forgiveness and the time you messed up was forgotten?  My bet, is if you experienced that..that time changed your life.  Do you remember a time when someone treated you as if you had nothing good to offer, saw only the things you needed to work on, and brought up everything you had ever done wrong against them?  My bet, is if you had a time like this...that time changed your life.  How do you want to change someone's life?  You have plenty of chances.

So, without further ado....what does it look like to switch our thinking in the way we perceive others?  Do you already see other people as who they were made to be or do their flaws stick out at you like a sore thumb and you can't seem to get past them?

Explicit Truth

Warning: Entry may contain explicit content not considered appropriate for those who rely on common sense and the intrinsic good of man. 

 EXPLICIT  sure draws attention doesn't it?  It's usually printed in bold font just to help communicate the idea of warning.  Usually printed in black, white, or red to further echo the meaning itself.  My question is how did explicit become a word that elicits the connotation that it currently does?

You see, the dictionary says:

explicit |ikˈsplisit|adjectivestated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt : the speaker's intentions were not made explicit.• (of a person) stating something in such a way : let me be explicit.

So, let me be explicit, to interlace this monologue, if you will, with what offends: the explicit truth.  Last night as I was falling asleep I was thinking about being explicit and what a stir just having the title "Explicit Truth" on something could cause.  I pictured it on burned CD's and thought about writing in bold sharpie marker EXPLICIT and just leaving those CDs everywhere I go.  I wondered how many people would pick it up, and look both ways to see if anyone noticed before slipping it into their coat pocket, sleeve, or bag.  I smirked, imagining their surprise if when they pulled it up on their computer they saw a video based on the life and truth and love of Jesus and wondered what their reaction would be.  (who's with me on trying this?? hahaha!)

As I thought about this idea, I thought about how I don't want to trick someone into hearing about Jesus. But how desperately I truly want people to receive His message.  Somehow, I find myself in the midst of Redemption's Story, the Great I Am...wondering how I got myself in the thick of it.  But, the thicket's clearing in the forrest of mystery as the Great I AM reveals himself to me.

I've written a slew of words about creativity.  It's been brewing even more than what I've written inside of my mind.  The burning question inside of me is what does it look like to represent Christ...THE explicit Truth as true to who he is and with the creativity that He has given us.  I want to be creative.  The world is creative in its deception, our Father is the Creator, we should mimic him with our creativity and blow everything else out of the water as the clone and fake charade that it is.

There was a precious asian man on the streets of San Francisco yesterday.  Characterized as eccentric, radical, and crazy this man modeled a long beard and eyes that pierced with truth.  His goal?  To tell people about the truth.  He was shouting, desperate for the message of truth to be heard.  He was ridiculed, he stood out, he had passion.  His eyes met my boyfriend's as he stood next to him, the man with the beard instantly recognized the truth in my boyfriend's eyes, nodded to him, and in a little while encouraged him with words of urgency saying, "You have to tell them!  They have to know!" Talk about a life changing moment.  The man with the beard knows that there is only one thing worth living for.  I know his tactic is not usually mine, but the reality is that he is doing something.  He woke up with one purpose.  He is in love with the Creator.

Often, we make excuses for not being explicit.  We say that it doesn't work.  But, maybe we could learn something from that older man on the streets yesterday.  He was explicit in his message.  Sometimes, I write a song and my message is implicit instead of explicit.  I hide the truth for those who are hungry, or do I hide it out of a fear of being explicit?  Christ was both brilliantly explicit by how bright he shone on earth and yet implicit through use of parables and rarely giving a straight answer.

I think, maybe for awhile, the people around us could benefit from our message being labeled   EXPLICIT .  Redemption's story alone is the most creative narrative ever written and lived out.  Even if we don't know how to present it perfectly, it is strong enough to stand on its own.  Trust that the Holy Spirit truly can and will guide your words as you step out in faith and love.  Don't beat people with the truth, approach them humbly, knowing that you and I were right were they were at one time.

So, without further ado,  who's with me?  Who's ready to carry around the explicit Truth?

Mysterious Living

Billions upon billions.  Breath after breath.  Experience after experience.  It's enough to make my mind over heat and begin to melt if I think about it long enough!!  The thought, the realization, that there are billions of lives being lived in this very moment...each by a person whose story and life is as legitimate as mine.  They breathe, they think, they live, they laugh(hopefully), they cry, they struggle for existence.

Each person then encompasses at least thousands of experiences, memories, and stories.  That's probably a really low estimate. I'm thinking more like millions, billions.

THEN there are soooo many galaxies, planets, stars, crazy mysteries, and hidden secrets that we have yet to discover.  And in the midst of that bigness there we are.  Tiny little people.  Crazy and beautiful.  I know none of these are truly new thoughts.  I've been guilty of mulling it over time and time before, but somehow...it always comes back to me.

I think what has rocked my world the most this week was thinking about being 25 and where I was three years ago and how I never ever ever could have guessed where I would be three years later.  I felt quite old for a moment and felt like I have aged about 15 years in only 3...and then I started thinking about my future and wondering what it looks like.  I have no idea about mine.  Do you know about yours?  Like, even though there is no way for us to know unless God reveals it to us supernaturally, we still fret and plan and try to make it turn out the way we would like.

Plans aren't necessarily a bad thing, although when taken outside of faith and in a control mentality they certainly can be.  I just see a big question mark when I look at my future.  I think I know what's coming next, I think that I'm moving in a couple of months, I think that my boyfriend is coming soon to visit, but what do I know?

You know how in life you go through those times where you kinda get scared because things are starting to go the way you didn't dare to hope or dream?  I'm in that moment now, and I start just waiting for the bubble to pop.  (not what the doctor ordered, so I don't suggest you try it!)  But, I don't want to live that way,  I want to live believing that good things truly could be in store in my life...that I could live a full life on this earth, with adventure, love, and stories...but we don't really know!  Everyone's story is written so differently.  Oh the mystery!  Only time will tell :)

So without further ado, I guess what's left is to dream away, plan if you feel led, but don't worry, and enjoy the story as it unfolds.

I like the way the horses move

Hello my dear friends, I've been out with the flu...slowly coming back to being able to feel alive again.  The timing has been quite ironic.  The day before I got the flu...I sat down knowing I wanted to write about the pace at which we life, but I was had no words coming to me.  Deciding to come back the next day, I turned off the screen and walked away.

Well...little did I know that the next few days I would have plenty of time to live at a slowly pace (even if it was as a captive stomache flu victim) and, well...it allowed the idea to come into full fruition.  Before I had gotten hit with the flu, I had been been going on long beautiful walks and everywhere I looked...I kept noticing that nature seems to move at a much slower pace than we tend to.

I couldn't help being unable to reconcile the pace at which we move with the contrasted pace of most of Creation that the same God made.  So, I talked to him about it....and I thought about how fast most westerners push themselves to move  faster, more efficiently...all in order to keep up with the job so that they can keep up with the bills from necessities to needless items that we've become convinced we need all in the name of success and satisfaction.

Then I was remembered a story that has stayed with me about  how most people, no matter how rich they are, even if they are millionaires, will never say they are rich.  The reality...as you've probably heard is that if  you own a car...you are EXTREMELY rich....and even more than that, if you have more than enough food for today and shelter...you are rich.   I know you don't believe me...but trust me.   So, why can't people who have millions see that they are rich?  Because we, as humans decide how rich we are based on how rich others are.  This means that if we are surrounded by people who have more money than us...If we have one car but the neighbor has two cars AND a motorcycle....well then, Silly Goose, we're not rich...Mr. Jones...now HE is rich...little ole me...nope, I'm not rich.

This all goes with the idea of pace...I was looking at some beautiful horses grazing in a field...and thinking about their pace.  I was watching some birds and watching their pace.  I was watching a dog play, and thinking about their pace.  I was watching some children swing and thinking about their pace.   I felt the wind on my face, heard the soft rustle of the leaves, watched the water flow down the creek, and thought about their pace.  Then, I wondered...if the pace that nature moves wouldn't reflect the pace our Creator moves at?  

Although, of course, all animals can move quickly from time to time, for the most part (even ants and bees rest) they've got the art of rest down from time to time.  Humans on the other hand...or at least a few of us...have lost the pace we were made to live at and exchanged it for a rat race pace that steals our opportunities to enjoy the very life we've been given.  What do you think?  I don't suggest we all lazily lounge for the rest of the life...but I think, perhaps...we could work at a much more complete, well founded, slower pace, and learn how to rest in a much better way than we have been.  If we choose to look around at the original creation...I think we might find a clue as to how we were originally intended to live, move, and breathe.  Perhaps, if we take a lesson from the horses, and get over our tic-toc fear that time is money, we could truly slow down so we can HEAR the Creator and each other.

So, without further ado, what do you think we can learn about the pace we should live at by looking around ?  

Believe

Is it that easy?  Just to believe?  To have faith?  Can we say "just do it"?  This week during the Superbowl I had the awesome privilege of turn off the game for awhile with my friends and we got to send up prayer on behalf of our broken families, men, and the women and children who had been trafficked into the area around the superbowl for sex.

I found myself once again feeling like it was such a little thing. Man, God is really trying to teach me what a lie that is!!!  I was really appreciative of one of the guys there who called me out and talked about how we can never underestimate the prayers that we send up and how God is waiting for us to utilize the power we have and a lot of times it does truly start with prayer.  Sometimes, because we don't see the direct results of our prayers, we forget this.  God could instantly fix everything, but instead, he has decided to wait on us to act and move. (Thank goodness He's a God of grace or He would be regretting this decision forever)

I was reminded of James 1:6-7.

"If anyone of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

Such a good word, yet a part of me goes "ouch" because I know that sometimes...I ask in a double-minded doubtful way...which makes me tossed by the wind, flighty, etc.  I ask and pray for something, yet at the same time my mind has a plan B of how I can accomplish this thing if God chooses not to help out.  That's absurd and ridiculous.  We have to go into prayer with no plan B.  God's our plan A and he's it.   If in his plan he stirs our heart to take certain actions, AMAZING (that's usually how he works).  But,  when we go into His presence already with a plan B...that's so incredibly dishonoring to him, and we should plan on receiving nothing.

God is so good, so just.  We can't blame Him for the way things are.  We have to get on our knees and stand our ground.

So, without further ado, if we're going to be double-minded, lets save ourselves some time and stop praying to convince ourselves it's otherwise.

Unbelievable

Something I wrote about a month ago...felt like it was time to share it :)

The revealing of Your beauty

the thought of Your majesty

the hope of Your love

the sight of Your glory

These all awaken within me 

a feeling I cannot shake

a craving that is never fully satisfied

here, today, now

I was created with a craving inside

that makes me ache and yearn for more

I ache to jump fully into Your glory

to walk in your contagious love

so that it becomes the epidemic known to all

The incredible intricacies found 

in the the mis-labeled, wrongly understood "norma"

trick us into forgetting Your glory and love

From the sparkling masterpieces

found in each sea of a freshly fallen first snow

to the expected "normal" yet absolutely supernatural

miracle of You healing my bruises, wounds, and broken hearts

Your glory though revealed 

becomes completely concealed

in our expectations for Your kindness

and lack of recognition when freely given

These being labeled "normal" 

make them often forgotten

not so memorable

when they are unbelievably remarkable moments 

Your very nature

a taste of your glory revealed

story after story of heaven tenderly touching earth

beckoning humanity to come near

You awaken my heart to sing the melody

that you are inspiring over all Your creation

My heart, it sings the song of her Creator

loving Father, all magnificent, omnipotent,

indescribable, Unbelievable, Oh-so-close yet pushed so far

never miss a beat, the See-it-all

the Everything to Everything we will ever need

majestic One

Your rocks, they scream "He is near"

your trees, they rustle with Your presence

Stop

Breathe

Listen

Give up your false sense of right to reason

it didn't turn out so well in Eden

give up Your license to make sense of it al

l

Exchange your self-help mentality

and embark on a journey of praise

directed at the One who is, who was

who is everything no one and nothing else can ever be

Words-mine fail

yet, with entitlement aside, I continue on

knowing that the mountains dance

the trees speak, and the rocks cry out

of Your love for me

It's messy, the story of humanity

but You don't try to rewrite history, 

You tell both the good and the bad

You tell the narrative, You reveal it all

You are both the Narrator and the Narrative

the source of life in every breath

You breathe life into me

Unbelievable to both the Unbelieving and the believing

to the unbelieving Your story is foolishness

human concocted mockery of reason

yet to the believing

unbelievably crazy You are

to love and redeem and offer us the hope

You so freely do

I find You, my Savior, my God

my incredible Everything for Everything I'll ever need

quite unbelievable

You've opened my eyes to this unbelievable story

that is too good to be true, yet unbelievably is

Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl...

Ok, so maybe the steelers aren't in the super bowl...but, off the top of my head...that's the one of the first things I think of when I think of the superbowl  (I grew up in Pittsburgh, comes with the territory). The super bowl means different things to different people. For some, it's the football game of the year(taken very seriously), to others, it means an all you can eat buffet of chicken wings, pizza, hoagies, and eating til you can't eat no more.  For others, it's time to watch the commercials pumped up on steroids, for others it's a sweet time to chill out and they could care less about whether a turnover or a touchdown just happened. (I'll let you surmise which group I fall into)

To thousands of women and girls and pimps...it's prime time to be sold/used/prostituted.  I had no idea.  Human trafficking comes in lots of different forms, from manual labor, working in cocoa fields, to the sex trade....it's there.  What most people don't know...and what I just found out is that for a lot of girls...this is a time when they are shipped in vans/limos/etc  to the towns, cities, and area around wherever the superbowl is to be held.  Lots of men flocking to one place for a sports event...makes for a pretty good market.  The pimps, sadly, are smart at sales and capitalize on this opportunity.

This year it's in Indianapolis...Toledo is near by and so is Detroit...Detroit already has it's own rep going for human trafficking that's not looking so hot.  This week I've been thinking alot about what it looks like to truly end human trafficking.  To free these girls and women.  I know the solution doesn't lie right on the surface.  The problem itself is hidden.  People don't see it, they think the girls choose this life, they judge and push it out of their mind.

The roots of it run so deeply in our world.  The use of women for sex and whatever else is enabled and reinforced left and right through the media that women are there for sex, to satisfy any desire a man may have, even if it means hurting her in the process.  Some women reinforce this message by the way they carry themselves and unknowingly disrespect themselves in the way they dress.  Women are seen as trophies to be won, or used and then thrown away.  Women themselves have bought into this lie.

This underlying current of disrespect and dishonor make it easy for men to dehumanize a woman and use her however he wants, even if she's 13.   Maybe the man doesn't know that this girl doesn't feel like she has a choice, or maybe he doesn't realize the reality that she lives in a place of fear...having no place to go, no one to protect her.  That doesn't make it ok.

The break down of the family unit, accountability, values and everything else just add fuel to this fire.  The fire needs to be put out.  I applaud everyone who is doing something to stop it.  Whether it's educating the people around you, or distributing 40,000 bars of soap with the human trafficking hotline number written on it to hotels all around the area of Indianapolis...thank you.

I can get overwhelmed by big issues...because it's hard for me to start small.  When I first heard about human trafficking, I was pissed off and ready to CHANGE this mess.  When I heard about people taking ownership over their cities and towns as nuns and others approached hotels and educated them to the issue and others distributed the soap...my first reaction can be...that's cool, but...it's so small.  That's the thing though, it goes back to the whole idea of investment.  It's NOT small.  ITS HUGE because if we ALL do small things...it turns into one GREAT ENORMOUS UNSTOPPABLE thing.  So, what can you do that seems "small"?

Men, I beg you to stand up for your sisters.  Be men of courage and of honor.  Whatever that looks like, if you don't know...then please learn.  Encourage one another to live pure lives and hold the men you come in contact with accountable.  As you treat women with respect, others will notice and it will catch on.  (you might get harassed for awhile..but you can do it.)

What does it look like for all of us, men and women to stand up against the bully and say we're not going to allow this to happen in our neighborhood, our town, our state, our country, our world any longer?  A bully usually wins by pushing around the weakest people on the out skirts of the popular group.  They isolate and intimidate.  Have you ever seen a movie when a school bully gets taken down by a mob of kids who decide to ban together?  It's time we cared enough to protect those who cant protect themselves from the bully.  Let's join forces and take it down.

So, without further ado, I know that was heavy stuff.  Please go in peace, enjoy whatever the superbowl is to you, but figure out what you can do beyond that.   Seize to opportunities to educate and love and pray. 

Creative much?

Yep.  You're creative.  I'm creative.  We as a whole are creative beings.  No, no, I don't have it wrong.  I don't care if you can't even draw stick people.  It doesn't  matter to me if you don't know the difference between a C# and D note.  I don't care if you don't know what a serif font is versus a sans-serif(but for the record this is a serif font)  You are creative.  The core of you was created with light by a Creative being. You were made in His image.  Therefore, You're creative.

Sure, you might hide it well.  But, maybe that's because you've been taught some things that you need to unlearn.  For example, how many of you won't draw or color or paint anymore because you're scared it won't turn out pretty?  That you might not be good at it?  It's time to revert back to our 4 year old mentality when we knew we were the next Picasso and proudly showed our artwork to anyone and everyone who would look.  Why?  Because we loved the process.  We knew we had fun making it.

Maybe, we've been working with the wrong definition and idea of creativity.  Maybe creativity has become associated with something intimidating to you.  Maybe people who aren't hipsters, coffee fiend , and professional artists...are creative.  Maybe...an engineer is incredibly creative.  Maybe we've confused artistic ability with innate creativity.  Maybe...a teacher who can manage a classroom and keep 20 children active and learning...is creative in ways Picasso never was.

Here's the crazy part, God created everything we needed...in the beginning.  In that creation he created space for his creative creation to continue creating.  Everything that has ever been made or done since then...has been only possibly because of the creative supplies he has given us.  Talk about CREATIVE.

I challenge you today, to embrace the truth.  Embrace the fact that you are creative.  Find out what that means for you.  It doesn't matter if you don't feel like you are.  I've learned sometimes we can become so convinced of a weak lie it becomes a truth we're sure of.  And I promise, you have the ability to be creative.  You have the ability to bring order to chaos.  God wouldn't place his creation in the hands of beings who were anything but creative.

Work through it.  Start taking steps to be creative.  I discovered that I had hindered my own creativity by being sure that I couldn't do it.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to come up with a good idea, I put pressure on myself for it to be perfect.  And sure enough, I stole from myself any creativity...as a man thinks so he is.  As I didn't value myself...I was unable to value anything that I came up with,  sure it wasn't good enough.

Be who you were made to be.  Creative.  Whatever that looks like.  Redefine creativity.

If you need some help with this...and would like to get out of your box, grab some paper and start doodling, without an end result in mind.  STOP TRYING.  Enjoy the process.  Color and don't worry about staying in the lines,  scribble for the heck of it.   And...if you feel a deeper block, as you read my words, and hear voices or thoughts telling you...sure this is for everyone else but not me.  I'm not creative.  Then...there might be something deeper going on.  Like, maybe you don't value yourself the way that God does.  I learned that was my biggest block.  Ask God what's going on...(and then give him time and space to show you).  Because, of course...if we don't value the creator why would we value the creation?

So, without further ado...don't be scared to make a mess, go outside the lines, jump out of the box, and come up with a few crazy ideas as you embrace the reality of who we are.  (Maybe read Genesis with new eyes)

    BOOK SUGGESTION

    "Mess"  Keri Smith 

For those of you out there experiencing a creative block, you should probably check out this unconventional book  I discovered last week that kinda made my week THAT much better  (I promise...you haven't seen a book like this before).  Just looking at it...made me realize how much I get stuck in trying to create the RIGHT thing instead of just creating!!!  Why do we take ourselves so seriously?   This book invites you to crumple pages, draw pictures with just tape, scribble, draw blindfolded, etc.  $8-$14

Wise Words

Proverbs are amazing.

Those one liners that stop your world and make you think (if we're willing to let them).  So, I thought I'd share a few of those one-liners.  Pretty sure most of them come from the book "Radical" by David Platt.  Have you ever read a book and thought you were reading your own thoughts that you hadn't been able to put into words?  Well...I had that strange feeling while reading "Radical".

 Check out the below lines/thoughts, and if something jumps at your heart, feel free to write it big and strong and hold it up on a street corner :)  (or you can copy me and plaster them all over your walls)

"How many great things am I missing for the "good" things I'm supporting?" 

"Prayer must be fundamental, not supplemental" 

 "Don't get hung up on a good thing that prevents better things from happening" 

 "The Gospel that saves us from work saves us to work"

"I am loved as much today by God as I will ever be"

"If you're burning out, you need to stop striving to win approval"

"Building the right church depends on using all the wrong people"

"We tend to overlook God's plan for people when we organize church around professionals"

"Don't sit in classrooms; share your lives.  Don't build extravagant places; build extraordinary people." 

"If I forsake the priority of people then I will miss the purpose of God." 

"I'm convinced that Christian maturity has less to do with moral impeccability and more to do with an ever growing trust in the person of Jesus Christ." -Mark Carter 

So, without further ado...go soak in some proverbs, some wise words from wise men, or write a few of your own.

What's that smell?

Maybe you haven't noticed...but sometimes...we smell.

I know, I know, it's a surprise to some of us over in western world...we do a pretty good job disguising our stink.  Some people try not to sweat...we use deodorant, we have air fresheners, some people even do such a fantastic job disguising their smell that you gag on their new proudly paraded smell (ever walked past a woman doused in a poignant perfume?)

Why do we do this?  Why are we so scared of stinking?  If we all stunk...we wouldn't really be so worried about it.  Maybe we'd even parade our true smell proudly...check out the way a skunk struts its stuff.

Sunday I was walking through the mall and on my way to my car I noticed a cute country store window and slowed my walk to a leisure pace and saw they were selling a garbage can holder.  But, this wasn't any garbage can holder.  It was disguised to look like an awesome cabinet.  It was beautiful.  In fact, no one would know your garbage was in there...until you forgot your garbage was in there and they started asking "What's that smell?"

For some reason, my stomach got sick in that moment and I started wondering why it's so important for us to hide our messes.  Why do we want to hide our garbage, why do we hide our smell, why do women hide behind make up?  It hit me, that we have a tendency to...are you ready for this?  Hide.  We hide our mistakes, we hide our true selves...we have to work at being vulnerable.  We hide.

But why?  Suddenly...the history of man flashed through my mind back to Adam and Eve...who also hid.  They hid in the garden because they were ashamed.  They were aware that they were naked.  They didn't like being exposed.  It scared them.  And yet...here we are, however long later...after God has given us clothes...still hiding like we're naked.  Scared of being truly known, scared of others seeing our messes, and hiding anything that just might smell bad.

The scary part is...sometimes we convince ourselves we aren't hiding.  That we're good to go.  We've hidden our own stuff that needs dealt with so well that we've tricked ourselves.  Don't forget, it's still there if you haven't given it away.  Don't be like the fake religious leaders who sickened Jesus.

"...you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean." Matt.24:27

Too many of us are still trying to hide our garbage, (that Jesus has already offered to clean out) kicking that piece we missed earlier under the carpet, holding what we don't want someone else to see behind our back.  It's time to stop.  It's time to clean out what needs to be cleaned, and then to accept who we are and not be afraid of how we might smell.  Dare to not hide.  Dare to believe that when we are told we are free, that God loves you...that it is true.

So, without further ado...don't run from the person who smells....run to them and mess them up with some love. (even if you need to start with you)

Be love

To all of us choosing to be light...

Be love to everybody.

So, without further ado...go! Be light.  (and listen to this song if you'd like.  Matisyahu "I Will be Light")

Too little to give

No offering is too small.

What?  Yep.  This post is too all of those who need to look the lies in their life dead in the eyes today and say I do matter, I was created with a purpose, and my love, my life, my resources are not too small to make a difference. That is, if it is an offering out of obedience...if it is a self-righteous feel good pick-me up...then it might be too small.

How often have our fears, our insecurities, and our feelings of inadequacy worked together to quickly build a wall blocking us from serving, from investing?  How often have you not given at all because you felt like your offering was too small?  What can my $5 possibly do?  How is my volunteering going to transform my community?

Quite honestly, not a whole lot.  That is, if it's just you.  But, if it is all of us, and it's in God's kingdom ....well, walls are going to fall.  I challenge you in the moments you're facing your wall of lies saying you have nothing to give...to stand your ground, take a step forward and knock down that wall of lies by investing what you have anyways.  God has given you everything you need to be obedient today.

I've discovered, in the kingdom of God's goodness, we are asked to invest.  We are allowed the privilege of partnering in an amazing movement!  We are asked to invest our hearts, our prayers, our time, our ideas, our energy, our resources, our love.  So, how tragic is it when we allow our feelings to hinder us from investing?  We miss out on being floored as we see God's glory revealed.  Do we really believe God that He is big enough to do something with our mustard seed of faith?

When we underestimate the gifts that God has given us...which can be ANYTHING from a heart full of love to an extra room in our house, we become a hinderance to the movement of God.  It's in the moments that we allow fear to keep us from offering someone a ride(what's the big deal anyways?), walking over to our neighbors and introducing ourselves, smiling at a stranger, starting a conversation with that person next to you, giving your server that extra 2 dollars you want to hold on to...that we say with our actions we believe what we do doesn't really matter.  When we don't believe we matter, we act like what we do doesn't matter, and we lose.  We lose out on our heart being transformed, we lose out on our love for others growing, we lose out on a lesson in faith, we lose out on a blessing.  

So when you "know" you're not powerful...invest.  When you only have $3 to give...invest.  When you feel helping someone with their groceries can't possibly change the world...invest.

When you invest even when we don't necessarily "feel called to"  we create a movement.  As we empower others to believe that the way they invest their words, time, and love matter, we become a movement.  As everyone invests what they think is too insignificant to matter, we become the body of Christ, living and active.  If each person gives what they have...well, you do the math...

If you don't have a passion...if you don't know where to start...invest in what is around you..."for where your heart, invest your life"(thanks Mumford & Sons)

So, without further ado....invest.  Your offering is only too small if you don't give it.

Thanksgiving is Our Dialect

We're called to be beings of thanksgiving.
                                                                        ....wow.

Usually statements like that are followed by us all going around in a circle and listing things we're thankful for.  Any takers? Ok...I'll start....I'm really thankful for colors, good conversations, family, friends, this circle, oh yea...Jesus, a house,  good bread(not the bread you buy thats soft and white and squishy bread).....and...

You get the point.(hopefully you sense my satirical vibe here)
But, while we're talking about bread...

Random tidbit: for all you bread makers out there....tip of the day...don't make your water too warm when you add it to the yeast.  If it's in the high 70s range...then your bread rises slower and the flavors have a longer time to absorb.

Ok...back to forced thankful circles that usually only happen in youth group around Thanksgiving time...to be quite honest, I hate these circles.  It feels forced, awkward, and half the time the things we're saying we're so thankful for are the "correct" answers...OR worse yet are said in a voice that  leaves me quite unconvinced that we're even interested in the thing we're so grateful for...

So those things I listed...they are GREAT things that we truly should be thankful for...but what does it look like to speak a dialect of thanksgiving?

I was reading in Ephesians(it always gets to me).  I like to read it in the message version in the mornings...perhaps that isn't a valid version to some, but to me...it wakes me up like a cool splash of water to my face.  It hits me with the reality of this life we've been awakened to.

Chapters 4 and 5 are peppered with talk of speaking and how we should talk and embrace one another with that talk.

   "Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that.  Don't talk dirty or silly.  That kind of talk doesn't fit our style.  Thanksgiving is our dialect."  Eph. 5:4

The beauty...is that this kind of talk and careful use of our words with one another can only flow from a heart already brimming with extravagant love...which we can only get from God...God pretty much owns extravagant love.  Out of the overflow of the heart...the mouth speaks, right?

So...what if....we talked to each other (and about each other) ONLY from a spirit of thanksgiving?  What if...when Amelia(fake name) does something that hurts me...I go to her and talk to her about it from a spirit of thankfulness that she even exists?  I know...this is crazy right?

I never thought about it like this until just this morning.  But...it seems to me...that if we dare to embrace one another with extravagant love(not skinny love like Bon Iver's song...) knowing that we have enough to go around and a spirit of thanksgiving....things would change.  More importantly, we would change.  We wouldn't have different churches at war with one another in their hearts and gossiping about only the negative things...instead we would have a group of people bonded to one another because we see the value in one another and we're thankful for their existence.

Words can kill a person faster than anything else it seems.  They can destroy children's dreams and make them feel worthless...they can destroy another's excitement so easily....Use your words in a way that brings life and love to someone today.  Think about the way you feel inside when someone genuinely values you with their words and looks you in the eye  when you're talking versus when you present something close to your heart and they barely give you the time of day and throw some careless words at you...you don't feel  appreciated because you're not being appreciated in that moment...they're not speaking from a place of thankfulness for you...for your presence...for what you value.

So without further ado....what do you think...did I fall and hit my head too hard when I stumbled out of bed this morning...or can we "Say only what helps, each word a gift." Eph. 4:29 ?

Nothing to Prove

And so it begins...
That seems like an appropriately epic enough beginning, don't you think? To all those dear folk who may just stumble upon(isn't that a really cool website thing now?) this blog, good luck!  Here you'll find my unmasked honesty as I share learned truths and struggle to find the truth in a world that has so much muddled up mess that sometimes you have to dig pretty deep to find the truth.   I'll share the wisdom that I have gained at my ripe ole age of 25(....to anyone who's angry with me for that statement...joking!..sorta) as well as the stupidity I'm trying to shake off me.

I make no promises to be politically correct or a people pleaser.  I'm happy to say that I have broken free of that prison.  Although it's never my intent to hurt anyone's feelings...don't we live in a world that has become so cowardly and wimpy in a fear of "hurting someone's feelings" that you're ready to gag?  I am...(and I'm constantly told by my family I'm too sensitive).  To a world that is too scared to give definite answers in fear of being sued, disliked, or persecuted, look out because there is a tired generation from 97 year olds all the way down...who is ready to stand up for something.  I am one of them.

So whose words are you reading?  The words of someone who does believe in absolute truth, and believes lies like to masquerade as watered down truth.  This someone believes that there's a difference and that not everything leads to truth as we are being forced to believe.  This someone has heard some really great sounding ideas that looked like light and felt fun...but in the end it just led to death.  This someone doesn't want to encourage death and darkness because she's too scared to confront a lie that might hurt someone's feelings.  That's not love...that is fear and I'm done being a coward.

What truth do I stand on, then?  The only truth...the truth that there is this amazing, wonderful, kind, loving, just, beyond your imagination, not limited by my human speculation...GOD who created each and every one of us with love and a purpose.  A Majestic power who tells His story of creation to redemption to restoration from Genesis to Revelations.  A Marvelous artist whose creativity is copied every day in attempts to make beautiful things.  A Father who has made us like him, to take care of his earth(which we've done a pretty shitty job at), love with everything we've got, make things like He did, and enjoy life!  If you're wondering where I'm getting THIS info from...read the Bible in a new light and see His heart.  If you're offended that I said shitty(I almost deleted it so that I wouldn't offend anyone...then I got a grip) and have decided I can't possibly be a true lover of Jesus...I think it's time to call things for what they are...don't you? 

So, without further ado...let's buck up, figure out what our ground is, and take a fearless, love grounded stand on it.